S3E4: Aléna Watters
In this episode, Hayley and Amy chat with Broadway performer and healing practitioner Aléna Watters about practical tools to have a sustainable career in the theatre, how to unlearn societal programming around competition, and so much more! Scroll down for episode notes and transcript!
Episode Notes
Hosts: Hayley Goldenberg and Amy Andrews
Guest: Aléna Watters
Music: Chloe Geller
Episode Resources:
Bobbie Cronin: Daybreak
DJ Salisbury and Andrew Gerle: Whisper Darkly
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk: The Body Keeps the Score
Pamela Madsen: Shameless
Emily Fletcher: Stress Less, Accomplish More
Regena Tomashauer: Pussy: A Reclamation
Kasia Urbaniak: Unbound: A Woman’s Guide To Power & TED Talk about reclaiming power
Layla Martin: VITA Coaching Info
Annie Huntley: Death & Grief Processing Guide
Louise Hay: You Can Heal Your Life
Dr. Emily Nagoski: Come As You Are
Stella Resnick: The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings and How to Let Go and Be Happy
Amy Kebernik: Meditation Teacher & Somatic Educator - Info
Sing For Your Seniors
Guest Bio:
Aléna Watters (she/her): Broadway (OBC = Original Broadway Cast): West Side Story, The Addams Family (OBC), Sister Act (OBC), The Cher Show (OBC), Mrs. Doubtfire (OBC), Bad Cinderella (OBC). Off-Broadway: NEWSical, Boobs! The Musical. Touring/Regional: The Prom, Pippin, Ever After, Turn of the Century, Fairy Tale Christmas, Brooklyn, Chicago, Cinderella, 5 years with the USO Show Troupe (performing for our military families). "Harlette" for Bette Midler. Featured in critically acclaimed documentary The Standbys. BA Musical Theatre, UNC. Yoga/Breathwork/Healing Facilitator. IG: @sassballchange | www.alenawatters.com
Find Aléna Online:
Website: www.alenawatters.com
Healing practice website: Healing Watters
Instagram: @sassballchange
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Episode Transcript
(Music)
Hayley: Hello, beautiful people, and welcome to the Women & Theatre Podcast! We're your hosts, Hayley Goldenberg…
Amy: …and Amy Andrews. Grab a cup of coffee and join us as we talk to people in the theatre industry about their experiences with womanhood.
Hayley: On the pod, we interview people with different gender identities, from different backgrounds, with varying levels of industry experience and professional roles.
Amy: Our goal is to build community and pool our collective wisdom to break down the barriers we continue to face.
(Music)
Hayley: On today's episode, we talk with triple threat performer Aléna Watters. Aléna was a part of the revival cast of West Side Story on Broadway and has been a part of the original Broadway casts for The Addams Family, Sister Act, The Cher Show, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Bad Cinderella. Off-Broadway, she's been a part of NEWSical and Boobs! The Musical. For touring and regional, The Prom, Pippin, Ever After, Turn of the Century, Fairy Tale Christmas, Brooklyn, Chicago, Cinderella. She’s done 5 years with the USO Show Troupe (performing for our military families) and has been a Harlette for Bette Midler. Aléna is featured in critically acclaimed documentary The Standbys and holds a BA in Musical Theatre from University of Northern Colorado.
Amy: Hello listeners! We are here with triple-threat performing artist and healing facilitator Aléna Watters. Aléna, thank you so much for being here today. Can you start off please by introducing yourself? We invite you to share your pronouns and tell us a little bit about what you do in theater.
Aléna: Yeah! My name is Aléna Watters, she/her/hers, and I am a performing artist. I sing, I dance, I act. I also, as you said, am a healing facilitator and a certified yoga practitioner, certified breathwork practitioner, and I am in the midst of finishing up a trauma-informed love, sex, and relationship coaching certification as well.
I've been singing, dancing, and acting since I was a little one. My first official paid job was when I was 10 years old. I was Tessie and Annie's understudy in a production at the Colorado Springs Fine Arts Center. I played Tessie, then I played Grace in college, and I think I'm probably getting into like, the Hannigan phase in the next 10 to 20 years, maybe even now.
Hayley: I love that. The progression of your relationship with Annie. It grows as you grow.
Aléna: Well, it was one of those stereotypical things. My dad was in the Air Force and we got stationed in England. My mom took us to musicals and things. And that's where I fell in love with musical theatre, in the West End. And she said that when we saw Annie, I got up and pointed, I was like, "Mom, I want to do that." And that was my first paid contract.
So ever since I was a little one, I've really been very into musical theatre. I do remember sitting on the counter in England with this little book, it was called Just Me & My Dad, it was like this porcupine character. And I had memorized the audio book, and that was my show-and-tell in first grade.
Hayley: I love it. Aléna, can you tell us a little bit about what you're working on creatively right now? I know you're out on a contract.
Aléna: Yeah. At the moment when we are speaking, I am in Colorado. I moved from here 20 years ago, and this is the first contract - I'm doing a production of Cinderella as Marie, aka Crazy Marie, aka The Godmother - in my home state, Colorado. I was born on the East Coast, but I think of this as my home state. So I get to be in my home state where I had my training.
I went to the University of Northern Colorado. I applied to only two schools, the University of Northern Colorado and the Boston Conservatory, and I actually made it into both. But my parents didn't have a lot of money. The stress of imagining that debt was really challenging - to consider where to go. And I remember seeing the Fountain Valley newspaper - there was a local newspaper - and it was talking about these two people who were local, who were in New York City and working. And I took that as a sign that, okay, as long as I have the drive and the talent and I work hard, it doesn't matter where I'm going to go. And so I went in-state and, you know, hey, thankfully I've paid off my student loans. I know a lot of friends who can't say that.
Anyway, it's great to be back in my home state where I grew up as an artist and to perform here. And my version of Marie - this is the 2013 version of Cinderella that Victoria Clark was in - she played this character, Marie - and we got to do Sister Act on Broadway. I had this silly character named TziTzi Jenkins, who's this homeless character who never spoke, but she had the biggest weird backstage backstory. When there was still a Broadway yearbook, she was listed as our mascot. The director knows of this character and wanted me to go ahead and just try Marie as my character TziTzi. And audiences here - thousands of people - are seeing TziTzi as Marie.
My 4th and 5th grade teachers came to see me. I saw four women who were classmates in college in the performing arts who came to see me last night with their kids. So that's really amazing to feel like it's a circle. I'm grateful for that, for this moment.
Hayley: I love that. Aléna, are there any other projects that you've done recently that have really filled your cup?
Aléna: Bobby Cronin has this piece Daybreak, which is a four-person show. He recently did a concert version and Anne Brummel had a family emergency and I ended up replacing last minute. And I had sung one of the songs from the show about a decade ago, and I got to step in and get to do this piece. And it was really fun to be trusted enough to take care of that project last minute.
So that was one thing, and also, it's still in process but there's a new musical called Whisper Darkly. DJ Salisbury and Andrew Gerle are creating this piece, and the concept album is coming out soon. I've had the pleasure and the privilege of being a part of several new projects, so to be a part of something else where I am a principal character and my voice is heard - being a part of this creative process where my voice will be on that album is cool.
And just as far as Broadway goes, I was a part of the original company of Mrs. Doubtfire. And I was The Flamenco Singer, and I have my own song and my first bow. And with that piece, the Kirkpatrick brothers allowed me to make suggestions - like, I felt safe enough in that room with the composer or the writers to say, “Hey, how would you feel if I took this part up and made it more dramatic, telenovela sort of style?” And then they added some things.
So just to be a part of those kinds of creative processes and making something new that - now I've seen a couple videos where people were doing this song that I helped create, and that is - talk about filling the cup! Just like, an amazing bucket list thing that, you know, you dream of when you're a young musical theatre student. I'm getting teary. It's like, wow, I have been trusted and have worked really hard and people have noticed and allowed me to be a part of the creation of new musical theatre. I feel so grateful for that.
Amy: That's awesome. Can you tell us a little bit about the healing work that you do?
Aléna: Yes. Anybody who wants to look at some of the basics, you can go to www.healing-watters.com, or you can go to www.spiritualhydration.com. I combine a variety of healing modalities - yoga, breathwork, guided meditations, embodied movement. Teaching or helping people really stay in their bodies. The sensations that we get in our body are information for things that are going on. We tend to have some really basic things that I think a lot of people might resonate with. Tension in the shoulders, tension in the hips - those are two really, really common places where we store stress and anxiety - and helping people create more awareness of that. And when they notice that, giving them tools to help release some of that.
For instance, the vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body. When we can work on toning that, so to speak - activating the vagus nerve, - that's what helps to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest and digest” part. And we can use humming or take long exhales out, especially through the mouth, and we can release some sound - that can help to calm the anxiety in the body.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk has a book called The Body Keeps The Score. And he's one of the scientists who created information around PTSD, the modalities for healing and dealing with that. The book talks about how we have these incomplete stress cycles in our body. As a performer, there are things that happen in a live performance. You never know what's going to happen. You might accidentally get hit by somebody or you know, run into a set piece if you're a swing and you haven't really been run through where to go.
You know, we get these injuries and then as women - because there's so much competition, there's all of these things going on - if you get hurt, usually you're going to suck it up. You know, you try to take care of it, but you might have an injury and you suck it up because you don't want to feel broken. You don't want people to not hire you.
And there's this level of unsustainable perfectionism that I feel like we unconsciously and maybe even consciously have within our industry - if you get hurt - well, at least in my experience, and I've heard this from a lot of women in conversations in dressing rooms - you feel like you have to suck it up and you can't possibly seem broken, because you have an opportunity to work. Even when it's totally valid.
I certainly notice in my body, and I've heard this from other performing artists, especially women, that you hold onto it and that becomes an incomplete stress cycle in the body. It's not fully expressed. Oftentimes, we might even try to hold back our tears from the pain that we're experiencing. When we do that, there are these stress cycles that are in our body and can create distress.
And so part of the work that I'm doing with artists and other people, especially women, is getting in touch with those things. Having a safe space to express those things, have them witness things they didn't feel like they could say in the moment. And to move that through the body, really embody the way that felt, and let it be released and expressed.
Hayley: Right. We don't actually let that go through the whole body.
Aléna: Ooo. So, some folks may or may not be aware of our human body’s innate ability to “shake it off,” so to speak. Like the animals that most of us have probably seen in videos with the prey who get attacked by predators - where there’s a lion hunting a gazelle that goes into that freeze response and seems dead but isn’t, and when the predator isn’t paying attention it suddenly gets up, shakes it off, and bolts? We can do that. Our bodies are so much more intelligent than we realize. And we have that stress release mechanism built into our systems and have been socialized not to use it.
When we hang onto stress in our bodies, it can show up later as weight, or chronic pain, or other “dis-ease” in the body. We literally can change the cells in our body and shift our mood, our energy, with simple practices like a 10-30 second shake break - maybe in the bathroom before an audition. Or even backstage, if there are nerves before you get to do a show or a concert or whatever. There are simple, accessible tools - that cost no money - that we can use to support ourselves. We can let go of that excess, distracting “monkey-mind” energy with some simple but doable practices - shake it out, use deep inhales and long exhales, do some light humming to stimulate that “rest and digest,” “stay and play” energy that can get us into a more grounded state of mind. Practices like this can really make a difference in our daily lives in managing all of the thoughts and energy and self-judgements and pressure that we can feel when riding the waves of being in this business.
Especially - going back to that audition scenario - as women in this business, we are conditioned to think of other women as competition instead of allies - and that can bring up waves of anxiety, self-doubt, unworthiness, etc. And it’s so important to unlearn and unwind unhelpful societal conditioning, so we can get out of our own way, do the work, and hopefully thrive in our careers.
Hayley: Can you talk to us a little bit about womanhood and what it means to you at this point in your life and throughout your life? What's your journey with womanhood been like for you?
Aléna: For coming up on 15 years, I have really been consciously working to unlearn what we have been taught, in society, it is to be a woman.
Hayley: Even just this competition thing that you're talking about too, as an example, right?
Aléna: Yes, even starting there. Something that I've been really aware of, and I can see the benefits of, are supporting other artists in the room. I've been at an audition where somebody was freaking out because she actually didn't have music, she might have even come out of town really quickly for something. I was like, “Hey, these two songs are what I'm singing. Look in my book, see if you know something.” And she knew something and she took it. And it's like, you can't lose what is not yours. Somebody is going to get the job.
And that's really hard in our society that really glorifies scarcity. In my experience, we thrive when we support each other. There's so many talented people. There are going to be so many opportunities to tell stories. And if you don't get the one you want, create it, you know?
Hayley: Yes, I love that.
Aléna: I just really have been enjoying the journey of unlearning the detrimental ways that we have been taught to exist. I have several really amazing teachers, so I'll name a few of them if people want to look for their books. Pamela Madsen of Back to the Body, and she wrote the book Shameless. Emily Fletcher - Stress Less, Accomplish More - of Ziva Meditation. She is a past Broadway babe who transformed herself into a world-renowned meditation teacher, who is now expanding her teachings into a fuller embodied human experience. She's just freaking incredible.
Regena Tomashauer, aka Mama Gena, who wrote the book Pussy and has the School of Womanly Arts. Even reclaiming that word that most people use as an insult. Why are you using that as an insult? We're powerful. A tool that I learned from her is bragging. And when we think of bragging, we get that negative connotation, it's mostly of like, people boasting and making better than they are.
But something that I have enjoyed encouraging is like, "Hey, tell me a brag." And talking about the things that are good. Because the culture, especially women, we've been socialized to get together and complain and to one-up the complaint instead of celebrating the good. And when you can share that, especially in a community of women, it's actually a form of gratitude. Like, “Hey, this is happening. I'm really excited. I'm really excited about it.” It seems like we're not allowed to be excited about good things.
Hayley: Yeah, so true.
Amy: Yeah, and it's a great way to enable other people to celebrate us and we can celebrate them. That's one of my favorite things in the world, is to hype up my ladies. The best part about womanhood and community is that we can share these positive things and help each other out.
Aléna: The thing is, when we're in the traditional societal loop of complaining and competition, we are easier to control.
Hayley: Yeah.
Amy: Absolutely.
Aléna: And when we are actually choosing to connect and support one another and know that there is enough to go around - when we're lifting one another up, we are so powerful. And we're harder to control. When we are in our pleasure - using our inner pharmacy, like serotonin, dopamine, etc. - and really positive with one another, feel grateful for what we have, feel excited for what somebody else is having. And knowing that even if we feel a little jealous of that… “Oh, if this person has that, that shows it's possible for me.” When we're choosing to shift our perspective in those ways, there's so much more joy available.
Another dear friend of mine who I'm so freaking proud of is Kasia Urbaniak. She created a school where she trains women in power dynamics, and that's called the Academy. And she has a beautiful, brilliant book called Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power. She also has a fantastic TED talk that you can look up if you want to Google her.
Layla Martin, who is my teacher of the VITA coaching method. Another great friend, Annie Huntley, she is a guide through grief and death processing. Louise Hay, she's one of the women who started some of my journeying with her book, You Can Heal Your Life. And there's Dr. Emily Nagoski, she has the book Come As You Are, and that's such a good book. There's Stella Resnick - The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings and How to Let Go and Be Happy. And a really great meditation teacher and somatic educator, Amy Kebernik.
Yeah, those are some incredible women who have really enriched my journey of reeducating myself of what it is to be a woman in this world. Which then, in my opinion, has made me a more interesting artist on stage as well. We've been taught to be good girls and not even express our sexuality. Even though we are over-sexualized.
If you have a conservative set, a bosom that is small… The majority of my shows, I have been made to try to put so much padding to make like I have some huge bosom that I don't have. I got to do the first regional production of Chicago done in the Chicago area in 2017 at the Drury Lane Theater, and I was given the most glorious costume that fit my body. I did not have to worry about trying to create some line that's not a part of my actual physical body. And I felt so powerful and so sexy, and that felt so good to not have to be made to have a so-called “show girl, leading lady…” have to look a certain way.
And just to continue on this journey of womanhood, just really learning to own all aspects of ourselves. Really learning to express everything, the depth of sorrow that can come up. We don't always express all parts of ourselves. And when we are able to express, have the courage to explore, have the courage to maybe fail at something or explore something taboo and be like, “Oh, actually, this is a really wonderful part of me.” Or, “Oh, well, that's not for me.” To have the courage to explore different parts of life and different interests as a woman and as an artist will not only bring more fullness to our human experience but will also make us more interesting on stage.
Hayley: Yeah, for sure.
Amy: Absolutely. Aléna, you've talked a lot about what you're doing in a lot of different areas. And I'm so here for all of it. It's fantastic! Is there a way that those tie together for you?
Aléna: Oh, yes. A big part of my mission is joy spreading. There's so much pain, agony, and suffering in the world, and we all need some joy. So both performing and the work as a healing facilitator, to me, are a healing experience in creating joy. When we are on stage telling a story, we're giving an audience member an opportunity to - maybe we move something in them, whether it's tears that have not been able to be expressed or maybe laughter because there's so much suffering in their lives. Taking them away from the reality of whatever's happening in their lives can be really healing. And people sometimes think of it as frivolous entertainment… Like, entertainment can be really joyful, it can be really healing.
Hayley: I feel like joy is underrated in our society also. Joy is seen as frivolous, but it is not. It is like the deepest, like one of the deepest things…
Amy: Deeply important, yeah.
Hayley: …that we can experience, in my opinion.
Aléna: Yeah. It's sacred. And we can also be sad and joyful. People are like, “Oh, I want to be happy.” Well, you know what? You can have a shit storm going on in your life and you can still have joy. Over the pandemic, I lost 18 people in a 29-month period. The depth of agony that I didn't know was possible from so much loss was a lot. And at the same time, there were actually some women's groups that I was able to connect with virtually and such, and there was still joy possible in that connection.
Sing for Your Seniors is a nonprofit that I am a part of, and I will donate my time, and I was donating my time. And being able to connect through art was not only helping those seniors in isolation, give them a place to go, some entertainment, but that was bringing me joy. To be able to share my gifts and connect with other humans. I still was experiencing joy. So these things are, you know, they're not mutually exclusive. They can be true at the same time. And so that's, to me, how they come together.
Hayley: If you could go back and tell yourself one thing that you would want to know coming up through this - sometimes hard, sometimes joyful, many times both things - industry, what would you tell yourself? And what might you impart on those coming up now?
Aléna: I was kind of on the cusp of some of the old-school, not always the healthiest ways of working in a rehearsal room. I was kind of like at the tail end, which gave me a really good work ethic. And some of what I'm noticing in some of the younger artists is a little bit more entitlement. And I feel like there needs to be a marrying of the two - of standing up for yourself, but still working hard, being diligent, being respectful in the room.
So I would just encourage young people: Show up. Be on time, which means be a little early, so the call time you're starting at. Show up. Give your all. Be prepared. Do the work, like, do your work. Sometimes that requires some work outside of the rehearsal room. This is one quote that - I don't know who said this but… Our best varies on a daily basis. Our best varies on a daily basis. And don't let perfection be the enemy of good.
Hayley: Yeah, that's a really good one.
Aléna: Especially when you get into experiencing, perhaps for the first time, an eight-show contract. It's hard. It's tiring. People who are not in the industry can diminish what it is to be an artist. It is so much work. And yes, it can be so much fun. But you know, knowing that it is going to be hard, and not only do you want to work hard, you also need to take care of yourself.
There may be boundaries that you have to set with people who are like, “Ah, you're not, you're not being fun. Come on, come out with us, stay out late.” There may be times when you need to prioritize your self-care in order to maintain an eight-show week. There are a lot of sacrifices that go into being an artist. And some of them are out of balance right now in our industry. That's absolutely true. That's true. We're working on it.
While we're working to find balance in this industry, you gotta take care of yourself. Learning - How much sleep do you need to really thrive? Noticing how you can fuel yourself, and really paying attention to what you put in your body. Because what you put in your body also impacts the way you feel and the energy that you can put toward the story that you're telling. So just… Yeah, show up. Work hard. Do your best. Your best is going to vary on a daily basis. Don't let perfection be the enemy of good. Take care of yourself.
And just another side note: Build community. Cultivate your friendships. You never know who's going to be on top, who's going to fall sometimes. So just really cultivate your relationships. And if there are people who aren't serving you, there may be times when you have to have the courage to step away from certain relationships and cultivate the ones that will really support you and support your wins and hold you when you fall and you're sad and devastated. So yeah, have community, work hard.
Amy: I love that. That's terrific advice. Aléna, I have one last question for you, which is: What are you most proud of in your life and in your work? Give us a brag!
Aléna: I'm celebrating that we have the opportunity in this moment to speak candidly about what it is to be a woman in this world and in this business and that our voices are being heard.
And in terms of a big celebration - gosh, it's really hard to think of like, the biggest celebrations in life! There's this little theatre nerd in me that's just celebrating that I am living my dream. I am grateful that at the point of this conversation, I have been in six Broadway shows. My first was a revival, as the Anita standby in West Side Story. And the other five have all been original musicals. And I forget sometimes that it can be rare to be in one original musical, let alone five.
I'm so proud of that. I'm so proud that my work ethic, talent, the attitude that I show up with, the care that I have, my willingness to play and explore and experiment and take notes, has been welcomed into the creation of five original musicals. It's such a big deal to me. I felt really uncomfortable for a while, just saying that out loud, but that's a big deal. I'm really, really proud of that. I'm so proud of that. Yeah, so that little girl who wanted to be on Broadway, I am doing that.
Hayley: This was such a beautiful conversation, thank you for being here with us. If you could share where folks can find you on social media, if they'd like to connect with you.
Aléna: Well, I do have a website: www.alenawatters.com. A L E N A W A T T E R S.com. You can also just go to sassballchange.com…
Hayley: Come on, SassBallChange!
Aléna: …which is also my Instagram handle.
Amy: Cool. We will link to all of that in the show notes. Thank you so much, Aléna. It was such a joy to have you on the show.
Aléna: Thank you for having me. Pleasure.
(Music)
Hayley: Thank you for listening to the Women & Theatre Podcast. We’re your hosts, Hayley Goldenberg…
Amy: And Amy Andrews. If you like what you heard, subscribe and give us a 5-star review wherever you listen.
Hayley: You can also follow us on social @womenandtheatreproject to make sure you never miss an episode.
Amy: The music for this show is written by talented Women & Theatre community member Chloe Geller.
Hayley: Thanks for listening, everyone. See you next time!
Amy: Bye!
